Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
