I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
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Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID