Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's