im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
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The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
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No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.