Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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