Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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