Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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