my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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