like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
