Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
