Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
