I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
