can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
