I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dignity is for republicans.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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