belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
