So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
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I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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