I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
