i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize