its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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