Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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