I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
