Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
