I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
