Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
