I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
