sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
