"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
