my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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