i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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