After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
