Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
