Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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