just come out here and I will go home with you...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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