I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
