Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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