somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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