Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the liver wants what the liver wants
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink