I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car