My brain says no but my pants say off.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave