Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
