Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you