Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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