So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
