I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
