its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize