I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
