You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
