In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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