Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!