I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.