I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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