You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
