Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
