I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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