What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
People in love make me want to vomit
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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