Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
