woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
