STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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