the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
