honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think i have herpe
just one?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
