Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
In America we eat man semen.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
