btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
