Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
