Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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