He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
