Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
