i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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