You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
