she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
