Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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